Monday, March 16, 2009

Knackers Rating - Rugby League

It was a first for me and I had to do it. Yes I finally relented and witnessed a game of League. First round of the 2009 season - Melbourne Storm vs St George Ilawarra. To annoy anyone who constantly follow League the knackers rating has been replaced with the Hopoate Stink Finger rating. The modified Hopoate rating is:

no (knackers) fingers - shockingly bad.
one (knacker) fingers - as bad as Hopoate because he used the same one over and over!
two (knackers) fingers - normal and average as a Prostate Exam
three (knackers) fingers - above and beyond the normal
four (knackers) fingers - incredible. Ii hope he used lube
five (knackers) fingers - a fist of fury!

Some points to note to start with:
  1. Don't call it Rugby. It is League;
  2. Don't compare it with AFL on risk of being punched up by an angry Maori and islander woman; and
  3. It is different.
And the differences are what made the game interesting. Some positives about the game:

  • Intensity of the contest. Unlike Aussie Rules in League one stuff up can mean the difference. This was especially true at the end of the normal time when the scores were level.
  • The body contact. Big units running full tilt into other big units. Crunch.
  • Passion. The Melbourne Storm have a good loyal following. I would say at least half the crowd were wearing Storm gear showing they are more than the casual observer.



The atmosphere created from a crowd of under 15,000 is reasonable as well with the added bits of fireworks, cheerleaders and mascots on 4 wheel quadbikes. Now I know a bit about the sport but not everything. And I did enjoy the contest so will give it a 4 Stink Finger Rating.

But, before you all chant that I am converted (note that this blog is partially named after an Aussie Rules player) there are the negatives:

  • League is an acquired taste. The nuances and technical rulings can be a bit confusing to the new viewer. Two referees will only create more confusion in this area;
  • Services at Olympic Park. How can it take over 30 minutes to get a beer? I am still amazed that even in the size of crowd and the number of venues that sold beers that it takes so long to get a drink. I went with 5 minutes to go before half time and did not get back until 10 mins into the second half and that was when the line was short!!!
Because of the negatives, especially the second, I have to take out two Hopoate Stink Fingers Giving the game a 2 Hopoate stink finger rating. Well short of a fist full.

8 comments:

Jayne said...

I shall bite my tongue and make no mention of Kiwis practicing with sheep :P

dam buster said...

No and I would definately not do it at one of the games!

I didnt know that there were that many islanders and Maori's in Melbourne!

Jayne said...

It's a taste that I'm yet to acquire and won't since I stopped trying after I left Olympic Park at the end of the only game I've seen.

I give it two stinky fingers only (not that I have ever had a prostate exam so perhaps I don't know what I'm talking about....but then....I bet you haven't either, db!)

dam buster said...

I have never played league FL so have no prostate exam experience either. that remind me though, I need to do my work performance review!

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